Undeserving

                  He loves you today. 

This statement spoke to me loud and clear. There are days where all I can ask is "how did I deserve these beautiful blessings?"

My past isn't the greatest. When others say they don't regret anything, all I can think of is all the things I would change. I hate my past and am embarrassed of the  choices I made. The past that I have is so dark that memories of it creep into my daily thoughts. I begin to feel disgusted that I was ever that person and wish I had a better idea of my worth.  I think that would have saved me from a lot of heartache and picking up the pieces. 

There are days that pass and I feel completely undeserving. And one of those days was last week before the Women's Meeting I attended on Saturday. 

The two couldn't have come at a better time. I enjoyed the entire meeting and there were things that were advised that I need to make sure I am doing. But the one that stood out most to me was a talk given by Pres. Uchtdorf. He was reminding us that no matter who we are today, where we are in our spiritual development He loves us. He wants us to choose what is best for us and the only way we can do this is by following Him and His teachings. He is wanting to shower us with blessings but our "fear doubt and sin, like an umbrella is keeping those blessings from reaching us." Keeping the commandments He has given us is not just "a list of good ideas" but the ONLY stepping stones to something a lot bigger and extremely better than what we planned out. With keeping the commandments we are able to better understand our divine purpose. Our Heavenly Father loves us no matter the circumstance. He celebrates our victories and He is there listening to our pleas for help and making sure we recieve it. He knows when we "have held on to the fading light" because He makes sure we have tools and people that love us.  His love is truly forgiving. I know this to be true because of all that I have.  

My doubt had gotten the best of me. Telling me that what I have I don't deserve when really Heavenly Father gives us what we exactly deserve. I can only imagine when being exactly obedient to His commandments the blessings I will receive. I am not perfect or proclaiming that I am, only that I am trying to be more like our Savior and understanding my divine calling. I love this gospel with all my heart. It has saved me and blessed me with amazing people, things and lessons. So if you, like me ever feel like you are undeserving of the blessings you have in your life remember that He would never give us anything we didn't deserve.  You earned it and no hard work will go unnoticed by our Heavenly Father. I love you all and hope you get just as much inspiration as I did from this General Women's Meeting! 

XO, The Brown Girl